First, consider contacting a mediator. These professionals can not only help keep the cost of your divorce down, but many couples find that mediation is a much more reasonable way to split. Some couples still choose to have an attorney represent each side, but leave the specifics to be decided between each other and the mediator.
]]> Second, read up on the divorce laws in Massachusetts. Ask questions of your attorney, but remember that the decisions are ultimately yours. You might be tempted to simply let someone else handle the details, such as when it comes to property division, but that might not be the best choice.Third, remain calm. You have a lot to think about during the proceedings and many decisions to make. If children are involved, there are custody and visitation arrangements to determine. If you own property, you'll need to decide who gets the house and how other assets will be split. Remember to keep your feelings in therapy and not in court.
Fourth, always keep children at the front of any negotiations. Unless there is a case of abuse, your kids will need both parents. You might not like your soon-to-be-ex, but you will have to interact with him or her because of the children. Keep the best interests of your children in mind.
Finally, avoid saying anything you might regret later. This also goes for saying it an email or text message. It only adds fuel to the fire and it could end up costing you dearly in court.
If you are thinking about a divorce, contact an experienced Massachusetts divorce attorney to ensure your rights are protected.
Source: huffingtonpost.com, "Five Best Choices You Can Make When It Comes to Your Divorce" Michelle Rozen, May. 13, 2013
]]>There are reports that the Department of Children and Family Services removed the twin boys from Mueller's home due to safety concerns because of Mueller's alleged drug use and her involuntary confinement for a mental health evaluation. Mueller was placed in an involuntary psychiatric hold at UCLA Medical Center in Los Angeles last Wednesday, but has since been released and voluntarily enrolled in a drug treatment program in the same facility. There were various other reports that Mueller has not actually lived with the twins for several weeks. Richards had taken the boys in before, including in December 2012 when Mueller entered a drug treatment center, reportedly for an addiction to Adderall.
]]> Richards has two young daughters with Sheen and because the boys have spent time with Richards and their sisters before, it would seem this is a logical choice for temporary custody. A hearing is scheduled for this week to determine where the boys should be placed on a more permanent basis. There has not been any comment from Sheen as to whether he will seek permanent custody of the boys.Even though there was a custody arrangement laid out during Sheen and Mueller's divorce, child custody, child support and alimony can all be revisited by the court when circumstances warrant it. An experienced divorce attorney can represent a divorcée in such actions and ensure that their rights and the rights of their children are protected.
Source: bayside,patch.com, "Family Talk: Denise Richard, Charlie Sheen and Child Custody" Liliana De Jesus, May. 05, 2013
]]>There are several ways this can be done. One way is to freeze a 529 plan account. This account is used to save for college expenses and offers tax advantages. The owner of the account, though, can take money out of the account for other purposes, although they would incur a tax penalty for any expenditure that wasn’t for education--related expenses. If the account is frozen during the divorce, the money that is in it can only be used to pay for education expenses for the child or children specifically named. The benefit of this is that the money cannot be used to pay for education expenses for a child from a subsequent marriage.
]]> The divorce settlement should also define what should be done with any money that remains in the account once all education--related expenses for the child or the children named have been paid.The owner of the 529 plan account will still need to make some important decisions regarding the investment strategy of the account. This might be one that is conservative, such as with savings and money market accounts or one that is riskier with investments based within the stock market. If leaving the account in the hands of one parent is not acceptable, the judge can order the account split into two 529 plan accounts. Each parent would be responsible regarding the investment of their account.
There are many considerations during a divorce, especially when children are involved. By contacting an experienced divorce attorney, you can ensure that your interests are protected as well as the best interests of the children involved.
Source: usnews.com, "Discuss college savings during divorce process," Reyna Gobel, April 29, 2013
]]>Not all parents are able to do so -- at least not in a manner that is best for the children. Divorce is often harder for kids to deal with than adults. In order to help them adjust, it will take a lot of work and some compromise.
]]> For parents that live close to each other, it will take sincere communication and trust. Both of these are likely damaged from the divorce; however, when children see that both parents are working together in order to provide not one, but two stable home environments for them, it can provide them with feelings of comfort and security. It also means the children will be less likely to be in the care of a babysitter or other caregiver.There are important things to remember, such as never talking badly about your ex-spouse around your children. It only serves to make the kids feel bad or guilty about the other parent. Attempt to keep special occasions, such as birthdays or graduations, with both parents.
Communication is still the key when it comes to this relationship. Put your differences aside long enough to determine what is best for the children. You might not always agree with your ex, but through cooperation and flexibility, your children will come out ahead.
Hammering out such issues as child custody, visitation and child support during a divorce can create more animosity between couples. Using an experienced Massachusetts divorce attorney can make this process easier.
Source: huffingtonpost.com, "http://www.huffingtonpost.com/rosalind-sedacca/4-ways-to-coparent-more-s_b_3112102.html?utm_hp_ref=divorce&ir=Divorce," Rosalind Sedacca, April 20, 2013
]]>It may be an effort to avoid rushing into a marriage that could fail in a divorce because of a lack of preparation or immaturity. They have witnessed divorces of their parents and more couples are living together prior to marriage.
]]> This had created some concern in the real estate industry that they could suffer if home buying fell off as couples put off marrying. According to a recent survey by a major real estate breakage company, there has been a significant increase in the number of unmarried couples who are buying home. They may see it as a way of demonstrating their commitment to each other and as a means of strengthening their relationship.And in a way, it is a "stronger" commitment than just being married, as the contract with your mortgage company requires a demonstration of a financial ability to repay, which tends to imply that both parties have jobs and the income to fund the mortgage.
Should the marriage not occur, however, the mortgage company will still expect its loan payments and for the couple extricating themselves does not become easier simply because they cannot get a divorce.
Similarly, issues such as how to divide the proceeds of the sale, or if one party wishes to keep the property, can they afford to "buy out" the other party, and could they afford the mortgage on their own, will come into play.
Source: USA Today, "More Millennials get house before getting hitched," Haya Le Nasser, April 17, 2013
]]>Prenuptial agreements are typically accepted by the courts as valid contracts and are assumed enforceable during the property division. However, because they are contracts, prenuptial agreements must be properly drafted to comply with the laws of Massachusetts.
]]> A recent case from New York has made news, because a prenuptial agreement in that divorce was invalidated because the wife was "fraudulently induced" to sign the agreement.She argued that he had told her he would tear the agreement up once they had children. Apparently, he did not. In this case, the judge found other problems with the agreement.
For one, she would have received a very small amount ($25,000) for every year of marriage, while the estate was valued at over $20 million. This creates the appearance of unfairness. If the wife did not have legal counsel, it is hard to determine if she really would have agreed to the prenuptial if she had fully understood the terms.
The oral agreement to tear up the prenuptial is also a problem, simply because it can become a case of he says one thing and she says something else. Courts dislike having to decide issues with little evidence.
The agreement was only brought up in the last few months prior to the marriage, which again raises suspensions that pressure was placed on one party, and that they may have signed the agreement under duress.
The bottom line remains, speak with a lawyer before you consider using a prenuptial agreement or signing one.
Source: The Wall Street Journal, "Shoring Up Your Prenup," Kelly Greene, March 29, 2013
]]>Sentimental concerns may be mixed with more current emotions, where a party may feel the property is tainted with the presence of the other spouse. What is perhaps the most difficult part of the equation is to realize that the home possess neither good nor bad traits. For buyers, it's a new home, and it's a financial transaction. A couple in a divorce need to divorce their emotions when looking the financial aspect, and determine how to handle the home as an asset in the division of marital property.
]]> You have to recognize that you need to obtain the best possible financial solution for your life after marriage, and selling the family home is one step down that road. The current real estate market, while improving, still has left many with little equity or no equity in their home. Some couples may find that if they break even and are not saddled with debt from the home, they have come out ahead.If you have had a difficult divorce and find dealing with your spouse problematic, in some areas there are real estate firms that "specialize" in working with divorcing couples. They understand the challenges that come with selling real estate because of a divorce, and work to ensure that "divorce" does not become the equivalent of "fire sale" for your home.
Source: New York Times, "After the Breakup, They Help Sell the House," Elizabeth A. Harris, Apr. 1, 2013
]]>You may also have to pay spousal support. Even though Massachusetts has recently changed its alimony laws, your former spouse may receive some level of spousal support, to enable her to become self-supporting. If you are the spouse receiving the support, chances are it may have an end date. You are facing the prospect of reentering the job market and all of the complexity that entails.
]]> Your housing has probably become more complex, as well, whether you sold your home and divided the proceeds, if there were proceeds. If you retained the home, you need to be able to cope with the yearly costs of running the home, property taxes and maintenance expenses.If you are in debt, you need to create a budget that will allow the debt to be paid off and allow your credit to be rebuilt. As long as you can make steady progress in reducing your debt, you credit will improve.
If you are nearing retirement age, you will probably need to adjust your expectations. Even if you are entitled to receive some retirement or pension benefit, it will only be a share of the full benefit and it may not be enough to cover your other expenses. You may need to continue working longer or part-time.
You should also evaluate your insurance needs. you may need more or less, depending on your new financial position and obligations.
Source: Foxbusiness.com, "Starting Your Financial Life Over After Divorce," Andrea Murad, March 22, 2013
]]>What is often overlooked is that for all of the difficulties associated with divorce and the legal mechanism that it is embedded within, is that there is a process. For all its quirks and failings, when you walk in to a family lawyer's office and say, "I want a divorce," they do not give you a blank look. Child custody, visitation, spousal support, alimony and property division are all meaningful terms that define elements of that process.
]]> For all the discussion of marriage and of states authorizing same-sex marriage, the reality is marriage rates for couples in the U.S. are at all time lows. And problematically, 58% of all children in the U.S. are born to unmarried women in the lower and lower middle classes.Many of these couples feel unready for marriage; nonetheless, 41% of these women in their 20s are having children. When these couples break up, the women typically remain the primary caregiver of the child.
What they do not have is the structure of marriage and divorce to protect their interests when the relationship fails. They are not entitled to spousal support or alimony, and there is no formal means of splitting any assets or property the couple have amassed.
While divorce is not always pretty, it has the advantage of being a more or less rule-governed process that allows an equitable separation of finances and it does produce some degree of finality with its orders. For an unmarried couple, extricating themselves from each other may take years and they may not really know when it is complete.
Source: New York Observer, "No Divorce Is the New Divorce: Moms and Dads Navigate Messy Breakups in Marriage-less World," Rose Surnow, March 19, 2013
]]>But you may not know why their divorce cost what it did; they may have been insistent on litigating every issue, or perhaps they had a complex and contentious property division. Of course, there is an inexpensive way to get a divorce, at least at first. Do-it-yourself divorces are allowed in some states for some people.
]]> Why you may not want to do it. Same reason, cost. A do-it-yourself divorce could be the most expensive mistake of your life. Because many decisions that occur during a divorce can only be made once, and some, that can be modified later, can be very expensive. Especially if you have to hire an attorney to attempt to salvage your case.The rules of family court are complex. If you do-it-yourself or represent yourself, chances are very high that you will make an error that will prejudice your arguments and damage your case.
One case in California, where a man improperly filed some of his documents, and because of his mistake, he would have been forced to accept all of his wife's statements of facts "as is." The Supreme Court of California ordered the family courts to change some of their rules to prevent a reoccurrence, but the case highlights the risks of doing it yourself.
A divorce attorney can provide advice and guidance to protect your rights and ensure your divorce, as emotionally difficult as it may be, does not become any more difficult than necessary.
Source: The Colorado Springs Gazette, "Do-it-yourself divorce could be cause for regret," Linda Leitz, March 10, 2013
]]>Jordan's attorney filed a response to the suit that claims that the mother agreed that her husband was the father of their only child of the marriage. He also points out that the mother had signed the documents indicating, "everything was 'true and correct to the best of my knowledge and belief.'" This may be designed to undermine the credibility of the mother. Thirty years ago, this may have been enough, but in paternity cases today, a DNA test may supply the ultimate determination.
]]> The mother is asking that Jordan take a paternity test, and if it indicates he is the father, she wants him to pay child support and healthcare expenses that are not covered by insurance. Clearly, someone like Michael Jordan is an attractive target for a paternity case like this, as his estimated net worth is upwards of $650 million and he earns more than $80 million a year from his various endorsement contracts.This case is somewhat more complex because the husband during a marriage is presumed to be the father of any children, and if Jordan were the father, his rights and relationship with the child would be affected.
With paternity comes all the obligations of being a parent, and if you have been alleged to be a father of a child, you need legal representation to protect your rights.
Source: ABC News, "Jordan Files for Paternity Lawsuit to Be Dismissed," Kate Brumback and Steve Reed, Associated Press, March 4, 2013
]]>Research from the National Center for Family and Marriage Research at Bowling Green State University in Ohio found that the divorce rate for those age 50 and older doubled from 1990 to 2010.
]]> Susan Brown, who led the study, was "surprised," as she said that the divorce rate for younger people has stabilized. She noted, "In 1990, only 1 in 10 divorces were people 50 and older. Now it's 1 in 4."Many of these boomers had expected to retire and travel. Instead, they are trying to maintain healthcare insurance coverage and many will remain working or reenter the workforce. For those who have never worked, largely women, they will require alimony or spousal support.
Reasons for the increasing rate of divorce are varied, with the lessening of the stigma of divorce, many refuse to stay in unsatisfying marriages. With their children gone, they see no reason to stay. The generation originated the "self-fulfillment" movement, and that mindset is unlikely to change as they age.
There are challenges, as many marriages primary asset is the family home, and with the real estate crisis, they may be faced with mortgages that are underwater, or with little equity. Nonetheless, the trend shows no signs of slowing.
Source: Chicago Tribune, "Post-50 divorce rate doubled in 20 years," Leslie Mann, Feb. 27, 2013
]]>While many people may have sought to have their alimony orders modified in the aftermath of alimony reform, law changes are not the only things that merit support modifications. People can seek to have a court adjust an existing child or spousal support order for a number of reasons, and this is typically done when the income of one party changes substantially. This has reportedly recently encouraged actor Brendan Fraser to seek to reduce his alimony and child support obligations.
]]> Fraser, who was once one of the world's highest-paid actors, agreed to pay about $900,000 a year in alimony and child support to his ex-wife as part of their 2009 divorce settlement. The two have three sons together.Now, only four years later, the actor has gone to court to say that he cannot afford the payments. He would like the financial responsibility trimmed down because medical issues are keeping him from earning the living that he once was.
The court will respond to the request after he testifies later this month. The modification request may become quite complicated, because his ex-wife has accused him of hiding assets. In any event, this case is a reminder that there is a legal process people can go through should they find that their alimony or child support order is no longer fitting.
Source: SFgate.com, "Brendan Fraser wants alimony payments reduced," Feb. 11, 2013
]]>The scenario contains enough tragedy beyond the divorce. The son was crossing an intersection one night and was struck and knocked into a canal, where he drowned, by the Bentley convertible that ran the stop sign driven by a millionaire polo club owner. The driver left the scene of the accident.
]]> The driver was sentenced to 16 years in prison, but is appealing his case. The couple has become less appealing during the divorce the Orlando Sentinel describes as "bitter."The husband wants half of his son's ashes, so he can take them to a family plot in Georgia. The wife wants them to remain in Florida.
The judge was not amused and along with this dispute, the husband was also demanding the wife provide copies of the family's home videos and the return of his baseball card collection.
According to the story, the judge told them to "try harder" in developing a solution to the problem of their son's ashes, as he refused to rule that they were "property" and subject to division by the court.
This is an example of something that happens so rarely that there is no "common law" of court decisions, develop over time, to provide guidance for judges. This is somewhat similar to the issue that arises when a divorce involve a beloved pet.
The dog or cat may be property within the view of the court, but a family may see their pet quite differently, and may be forced to develop their own "custody arrangement" without the assistance of the court.
Source: The Orlando Sentinel, "Bitter divorce grabs spotlight for parents of Goodman victim," Ben Wolford, Feb. 1, 2013
]]>Norwegian researchers from the Institute of Public Health were interested in the affect of alcohol on marriages. The director Ellinor F. Major noted that excessive or binge alcohol consumption is "major health issue" in most countries.
]]> The study, which began in 1984, examined 19,977 married couples in a long-term health study. Questions were used to determine their feeling towards alcohol use and researchers then followed the couples for 15 years.They found that wives who drank heavily in marriages had the greatest risk of divorce. The study suggested that it was potentially because woman are more affected by alcohol consumption and that heavy drinking by women is less socially accepted.
For couples where one partner has an excessive drinking habit, the research suggests that they should work to modify that behavior. Couples where both partners drank moderately had only a somewhat elevated risk of divorce.
Excessive alcohol use also increases the risk of other problems, such as domestic violence and spousal abuse. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has found that almost 25 percent of women in the U.S. will be subjected to a form of domestic violence. Reducing alcohol use could help lower the incidence of this violence.
Source: LiveSicence, "Heavy drinking raises risk of divorce," Stephanie Pappas, February 6, 2013
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